Dating based on "potential" simply means dating someone you feel has not yet reached their full potential; usually regarding a specific part of their life but you are willing to see where the relationship can go or in some cases assist the other party in getting them where you think they "should be". It’s safe to say the common consensus is steer clear of these types of relationships. Let's dig a little deeper into the relationship dynamics. First here is the "tea" on what makes these relationships troublesome.
There is no guarantee any individual will ever reach said potential.
One party usually has to wait for the other to develop.
These pairings can stunt the growth of the relationship as a whole of both individuals, especially if their "timelines" do not match.
The waiting period between point A and B can be rough on all parties and often turns toxic.
Dating for potential can be a subliminal way to settle.
However, like most things in life there are 2 sides to consider. Despite popular opinion I will say there are times dating based on potential is understandle and makes sense believe it or not. Before you pass up on a potential partner based on their "potential" ranking;
Make sure you fit the criteria you are seeking. If you want someone “all together” from the jump. Make sure you are all together too.
As my mom always says dating is not like ordering at Mc Donalds or Burger King. You can’t add this and hold that. There will be some things that in time will develop that may not be there right away. Make sure your priorities are in order and your focus is on important core values vs superficial qualities.
The option of growing with someone is also there. The key is knowing when to let go if growth is not taking place not necessarily avoiding the individual altogether. For example, if two individuals meet freshman year of college neither most likely have reached their “full potential” but can grow together and as individuals to get to a desired point.
Make sure you are trusting your gut and not everyone around you. Family and friends can want things for us they think we should want for ourselves. Only you know if they are right or wrong.
At the end of the day there is no absolute right or wrong answer. Most situations depend on the individuals involved. What works for one may not work for you. Examine yourself and be 100% honest about what you want and WHY you want it. Open your eyes to red flags. Set boundaries early. Dating can have a steep learning curve for some and what seems like no curve at all for others. Know when it’s time to let go and move on. Know when it’s time to re-write your “wish list” from scratch.
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