Daddy Lessons

Fathers and father figures are blessed with the power to instill various life altering lessons in their children from a male perspective. Our fathers teach us many life lessons indirectly and directly. Some lessons may be positive and some negative. As adults we can use these lessons or simply do better in our lives and within our own relationships.

My grandfather passed when my father was an infant. He was raised by his Uncle as a house boy due to his mother being very young at the time. His Uncle symbolized more of an employer than father figure. My father basically learned his parenting skills through trial and error. Being the head of a household is a tough gig and it took me years to appreciate the fact that rain or shine, he did his best. There are 5 life lessons my father taught me so far, that I will never forget.

Always look your best. No matter what you are going through you do not have to wear it on your person for the world to see. There is a time and place to show your vulnerability. My Dad was/is a spectacular dresser. As well as what many described as tall, dark, and handsome. His charisma fills every room he enters. His smile is one of his best accessories. He has been through a lot in this country but, still he stays sharp and smiles. Regardless if our family was up or down, he kept his suit buttoned down and his head held high.

You do not have to wait for anyone to believe in your vision, believe in yourself. My dad has always been a businessman. Growing up I really did not understand why he pushed so hard to be his own boss. Now as an adult I see the power in being able to leave something behind for your family. Something tangible that may potentially live on for generations and generations. A legacy of hard work. People close to you may be discouraging, but keep pushing, pat yourself on the back for your drive and tenacity. You may be the key to breaking a generational curse.

No family out there is better than my own. I have messed up quite a bit in life in my opinion. I have definitely made several questionable decisions. My father has never made me feel less than anyone on this earth as others have tried to do. He constantly encourages me and makes me feel like I can conquer anything. He never told me he was disappointed in me, even when I disappointed everyone else. He tells me he is proud of me often, even on days I feel simply average. As a parent I am tough at times. I make sure to balance that with love and build my children up versus constantly breaking them down when they fall. I hope I succeed in this as my father did with me.

Money is not everything. This was an indirect lesson, but just as valuable. My father’s goals usually centered around making money. Looking back, I saw how his goals made him not always see the other valuable things he had in life that money could not buy. Money is essential for quality of life, but it will never buy true happiness or anything of value that does not depreciate. Balance is key.

Loyalty. My mother and father have been married for several decades. Through thick and thin. As loyal as she is to him, he has been to her. My parents are very opposite but so similar at the same time. Despite their differences they remained committed to us. My dad never ran during the tough times. He never ran from anyone or anything. He was present at every first day of school and graduation. I strive to replicate the same dedication and loyalty with my family.

If your father was absent in your life, consider how that made you feel. If your father’s absence negatively affected you growing up, you have the power to make sure your child will never be in those shoes, if you choose to have children. You can take the experience and manifest becoming the parent you needed and wanted as a child. Many males including my father do this every day. What a good father is can be subjective. My father is not a perfect man, but he taught me everything he could. It is my job as an adult to take the skills he taught me, whether directly or indirectly, and build on them. Imperfections and even absence can be channeled into motivation to avoid certain paths, to improve certain teachings, and to take what was presented at perhaps 60% functional to 100%.

There are 2 simple ways a father can teach his children. One, by demonstrating what to do or two, by demonstrating what not to do. You may have a father like First Lady Michelle Obama vividly described in her book Becoming and Netflix documentary or an absent father like Barack Obama himself. Greatness is still a possibility either way. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and father figures out there. You are essential, your presence is powerful, and your love and strength are necessary.

#family #fathersday #fatherfigures #relationships #legacy #generations #love #loyalty