We all know that what goes up eventually comes down. We all will age as the sun rises then falls. All life eventually reaches death. However, these concepts can be difficult to accept no matter the foresight. As children it can be difficult watching our parents near closer to their final resting day. As parents looking up one day and realizing your children are adults can be bitter sweet. Transitions like retiring, ending a long term relationship or picking up and moving to a different city, state, or country, can bring closure mixed with a little anxiety even depression. Everyone copes with change and transition differently, depending on the situation and how clear or quickly the next steps appear.
As a therapist, I can admit uncertainty and the unknown still churns my stomach. This week I randomly looked up at my son and realized how much he has grown in just a few short years. That night I had a nightmare about him going off to college and returning with a demon woman I knew was all wrong for him (being possessed and all). He wouldn’t listen to me and we argued vividly. Her eyes flashed red as they left my home hand in hand. Clearly my subconscious was in over drive that night. My fears of his growth manifested in my dreams. I also deal with aging parents and siblings I no longer speak with often. Despite the pending but certain life changes ahead, there are several options to cope. The mind is very powerful. The sooner your mind accepts what is to come or the things you can not change, the sooner you can begin to move forward at your own pace. Below are a few coping options to consider.
Open up to someone you are close to or comfortable with that can offer a useful perspective. A strong support system can play a key role in guiding you through any transition. Everyone deals with things differently but, talking to credible individuals you trust and respect can be helpful. I often ask my mom how she dealt with an empty nest after all 4 of us departed. I may not cope exactly how she does but, the discussion is helpful. Sometimes she even laughs at my stories. Not in a mocking way but, as if to say “now you finally understand”. It’s nice to laugh with her. It definitely takes the edge off.
Seeking professional therapy can be an option as well. There are therapist that specialize in grieving, transitions, relationships, anxiety, depression, even careers. Research what is available in your community. Make sure to consider payment options that work for you and your budget. Sometimes an unbiased voice of reason can make a big difference in how long it takes to process change or get through a tough period.
There are some changes in life you simply can’t prepare for. Events can pop up suddenly. However, there are certain transitions that are manditory and one can prepare for in advance. Adequate preparation decreases stress and anxiety. I know college will be here before I know it so I began setting money aside and investing. I know my parents are aging and not in the best of health. I do my best to encourage and support healthy daily habits. I reach out to them as often as I can. I make an effort to promote holidays and family gatherings to continuously build positive memories. No one knows exactly when their time will come. For my parents I obviously hope it is much later than sooner. When the time comes I want no regrets when it comes to our relationships. No grudges and no words left unsaid. When it comes to retirement it is never too early to start planning. Make sure you can support a lifestyle of your choice till your last breath. Make sure the ones left behind will have what they need to push forward as well. Consider looking into various types of insurance policies and savings accounts. Preparing for the unexpected the best you can will preserve your peace of mind in the long run. Plan ahead for big moves as well. Take the time to leave no stone unturned. Transitions in relationships are amongst the hardest to make. It often takes time to let go of people places and things that have been around for several seasons. Planning still can assist in making a difficult decision less traumatic.
Time on earth is not unlimited. Consciously spending time enjoying the present and living it to the fullest can help decrease feelings of regret, running out of time, fear, and dread. Just like day will come and night will fall, certain things are inevitable. Utilizing the time you have in the present can help ease the mind. The feeling of moving forward with no regrets lefts behind can be exciting and gratifying. A new home, a new job, life after your kids have all moved out, a new career path, even aging can be pleasant transitions when one feels as if the previous life stage was lived the best way possible. So live boldly and fearlessly, time stops for no man. What is to come will come, whether you worry or not.
Getting in touch with your spirituality is another option that assist with coping with life’s changes, transitions, and stages. Spirituality teaches you there are things in life we can’t control, about harnessing and controlling the energy in your life and about faith. Many times our higher power can be all we have and all we need to get to the next step. Spirituality is powerful. Having a strong belief system based in positivity can protect the mind, body, and spirit from pending worldly changes. Spirituality helps us dig deep and let go peacefully.
Regardless of how you deal with change it’s important to protect your mental health. Reach out when life’s curve balls begin to weigh you down. Do your best to choose an effective and positive coping strategy that can get you through one door and into the next. Do not fear the inevitable. Start early to begin to wrap your mind around what is to come. Strengthen your support system so they can hold you up when the unexpected attempts to break you down. Most importantly remember to just live and keep pushing forward. Few things last forever, and forever itself doesn’t last that long.
I had no idea that therapist could help with so much! My baby is only 10 months old and I already feel sad about her one day going away to college too!
Good post! We must prepare ourselves for change.
Such a beautiful post. Time goes by so fast. I work at a psychiatry office and I have seen first-hand how much therapy can help people.
This is well said. Every beginning has an end, then new beginnings occur again.
What a delicate topic, thanks for commenting, we don't usually talk about it much, even the loss of pets is painful