Every mother's experience raising a child is unique. We all have what worked for us and what we can chalk up to "learning on the job". I think several mothers will agree with me when I say the process of motherhood is not easy starting from the birthing process and beyond. Each day brings new rewards as well as challenges. Becoming a mother is definitely a choice every woman should consider carefully. All women definitely do not choose to be mothers for their own personal reasons and that is ok too. For those who choose to be mothers we have all learned individualized lessons through parenting. I'm definitely still learning everyday but I will list the top 5 lessons that affected me the most so far. These lessons span beyond motherhood and are applicable in everyday life.
Lesson 1: Perfection is far less important than getting things done efficiently. As a mom efficiency rarely mirrors perfection but getting things done well and getting things checked off is far more valuable. So perhaps dinner was a little late and a tad soggy but it was edible, everyone ate, and it's time for bed. Or maybe your toddler prefers his Spiderman costume to his pajamas, that fight is not worth fighting after a long day. There are times in life that perfection or something close to it is absolutely necessary, motherhood is not the time more often then not. At least not for me.
Lesson 2: A strong support system is as valuable as a diamond. As the common saying goes, "it takes a village". When family and friends offer help and they are capable, take them up on it. Every mother is not privileged to have a lot or any help. When my parent's arrived in America it was just them. No parents, not aunts, no uncles, and no friends. Support systems don't only have to be family and friends, community and spiritual supports are available as well. Leaning on the supports you have available helps avoid burn out.
Lesson 3: All parts of life will change as you know it, and that is ok. This lesson took some time for me to cope with. At a time in my life I wanted to prove I could be a mother and the person I was pre motherhood. I ultimately failed needless to say. There are people, places, and things you will simply have to leave behind. Definitely not all at once, but one day you will look up and realize all that has gradually exited your life and be perfectly ok with it. For some this process is automatic and for others like me it takes time.
Lesson 4: You will appreciate your body more. Listen, carrying a child then giving birth, no matter the specific delivery process, is no light task on the body. I personally felt strong and almost superhuman. The fact that this little ol' body produced life is something scientifically I knew I was capable of, but to actually do it was a life changing experience. The physical changes that come with child birth vary from woman to woman. Some positive and honestly some not so fun. Nevertheless, for most mothers including myself, the physical changes are secondary to the joy of bearing a child, a legacy, someone who will always be a part of you, and someone to love unconditionally.
Lesson 5: Multitasking is mandatory and necessary. Days are gone where I have the luxury to focus on one thing at a time. Cooking, checking emails, correcting homework, and cleaning up simultaneously is one of many multitasking combinations I've picked up along the way. Constant multitasking can be exhausting but the feeling of completing your to-do list is gratifying. So basically, I'm a therapist, I'm a chief, I'm a stylist, I'm a hair dresser, I'm a maid, this list goes on. Multitasking efficiently as a mom definitely takes practice, but it is a skill mothers can agree they can't make it through most days without.
Being a mother is a constantly evolving role. I develop and grow daily. There are defiantly more than 5 lessons I've committed to memory along the way. However, these 5 have stuck with me the most and I learned these lessons pretty early on. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Thank you for choosing to care and nurture a life. Don't be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes, always do your best, and remember your self-care. To be the best caregiver you can be don't forget to take care of your mind, body, and spirit.
#mothersday2020 #family #motherhood #selfcare #parenting #growing #learning #healthymind #healtybody #healthyspirit
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