The past few months have been full of unrest to say the least. Covid-19 still sweeps the nation with no cure in sight. Meanwhile, cold blooded murders by police and protest rock our cities and serenity once again. Conversations regarding racism, profiling, prejudice, riots and police brutality are all over every major media outlet. Many adults are forced to compartmentalize and attempt to function the best they can with angst in their hearts. Then, there is the duty to talk to our children and help them navigate through these times we are struggling to get through ourselves. Most parents are the experts on their children. As a licensed therapist I’ve listed a few age appropriate options to help ease the pressure to have all the right words on the spot. Speaking and processing with our children about troubling events is not an easy task but a necessity.
For our lovely preschool through elementary school kids, don’t ignore or avoid their questions. Kids are sponges at this age. They absorb a lot from observing their immediate surroundings. Try to teach them about equality, wellness and empathy in a way they can understand. Enrich them by teaching them about their culture and others as well. Many child based TV programs and books emphasize basic skills, such as being a good friend to different people, how to play with others, respect, love, kindness, even hygiene. Google, Amazon, and YouTube are familiar channels to research educational programs, books, and resources. You may be surprised at how much is out there waiting to be utilized. Many learning tools for children also exist that explain what various occupations are supposed to do and simple laws. All these concepts, if grasped properly can prepare them to be informed citizens in their adult lives. Children’s history books and educational specials can help jump start the framework for learning facts about health and history. Avoiding these topics can lead to ignorance in adulthood. Pretending various topics do not exist is not a responsible option. No one is born prejudice and biased, these behaviors are observed and learned. Focusing on physical and emotional wellness supports development. It’s not too early to lay a strong and solid foundation.
Next up we have our fast-talking tweens and teens. They have access to social media either on their own, at school, through friends etc. As we know, everything online and on TV are not credible. Make sure you are a main source of knowledge and truth your child can turn too. Having several short, but straight forwards talks may do the trick. Also try appropriate movies with actors/actresses they recognize based on true stories in history. This age group may absorb the critical information better coming from a source besides their parents. Encourage them to read books and articles that highlights important facts about their health, culture, and history. The internet can still be a source if directed to credible sites. Encourage them to listen to music with meaningful lyrics that highlight important events happening currently or in the past. Poetry, plays, and art are all creative ways anyone can learn new information. Research the nearest museums and libraries in your area. Set up a family text group and send your child credible links to explore on their own to potentially open up dialogue. Ask them questions and listen to their opinions. Discourage fear and helplessness. Provide hope and clarity the best way you can.
We can’t forget our adult babies who have emerged from under our wings. Check on them, inquire where they stand on trigger topics. Try and fill in any gaps you can. Adults or not you have experienced this world longer and may be able to provide additional needed support that no other source can provide. Don’t judge them for their views if they stray from yours. Just make sure whatever their belief is, it does not bring harm to themselves and others. Encourage them to vote, know the law, and their rights. Remind them not to neglect their overall wellness and health. Emphasize the power of staying informed. Educate them that forums like neighborhood, district and town hall meetings exist for them to be heard. Highlight a variety of ways to tackle social issues. Murder, violence, neglect, ignorance and death have been promoted and tolerated for far too long. Remind them as adults actions have consequences, some hit sooner than later. Privilege or genetics can’t shield everyone from everything forever. Assist them to be educated and culturally competent. Operating on bias and assumptions is dangerous for all. Discourage blind baseless following. Support behaviors that will keep them healthy and safe. Commend them for having a voice and being proactive. Lead by positive example.
Our children are the future and our legacy. As parents it’s our mission to simply do our very best. Our duty to discourage generational practices that bring pain and anguish to their lives and to others. Our job is to arm our children with relevant knowledge and skills to maneuver through society as decent human beings.
It's definitely been a challenging time. We've had very important conversation with our daughter who is 4 but she never knew how serious everything was. In order to avoid any confusion, we would leave her at home as must as possible while one of use would run out for the necessities.
These are such tough times. It is good to have resources to help kids through this.
I agree, no matter the age our children are, it is crucial that we lead by example. Conversations are also important, of course, but I always believed that actiona speak louder than words.
The conversations we have with our children is so important. We are teaching the next generation to rise up and do better. It's so powerful.
Great tips. We recently had a conversation with our kids ages 7, 4 and 2(not so much with the 2 yo). It went well.